On Being a Mentor.

As a chemical engineering student in my second year, it is hard looking past the abundant amounts of schoolwork I have piling up and thinking about the work I had already put in just to get here. To think that not long ago I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go is astounding to me, since now I have found something that I love to do in an environment in which I love doing it.

I am incredibly thankful for the guidance I have gotten from one particularly important professor that I had, and so when I had the opportunity to work beside her as a mentor for middle school and high school girls, getting them interested in and showing them that science and engineering are not just meant for boys, I jumped on the opportunity.

Before my university experience started no one ever demonstrated to me the amazing things being done by women in the engineering and science fields, and I didn't even know that chemical engineering existed. Having the opportunity to show girls coming from situations much like mine had been and allowing them to see early on what amazing things they have the ability of getting involved in was a great treat to me, because knowing that the girls I spent the day with were less ignorant than I was at their age gave me the feeling that I was involved in something necessary and long overdue.

I can't take credit for much more than sharing my experiences and letting girls know that what they wish to do they can succeed at. It was surprising to me that even at the middle school level some of the girls were already concerned that they wouldn't be able to pay for college. It felt important letting them know that working hard in school now, as they all had time to make sure they were plenty qualified, could potentially grant them scholarships equal to working 40 hours a week while in school.

My professor and her colleges, an amazing group of women who lead the discussion panel and answered all questions the girls had concerning just about anything, were the ones that made the day for the girls there. I was quite surprised when one of the professional women at the panel table would direct one of the girls' questions at me, but I would answer with my own experiences. I was told later on that the panelists were proud that I could handle the questions passed to me, as I was the one that was closer to the girls' age and proof that the goals the girls were setting for themselves could be achieved.

I am beyond thankful for the experience of working as a guide and mentor to all the girls involved in the conference, as it has showed me that even though the work I am doing now seems hard and difficult and never ending, the work I had to do to make it to the point I am at now felt the same, and I have made it this far. The guidance of amazing women that went through the same ordeals before me allows me to know that I can make it through, and much of my success wouldn't be without their wisdom. I only hope that through my hard work, someone else can see that they too can make it through.

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PST - Music of this Week

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Fantasy

(image via we heart it)

When your leg brushed mine, warm and strong, the blush on my face permeated my dreams, reaching past the fiction and affecting reality. Only I was changes, you being only my secret and personal version of whomever the real you actually is, and the turmoil my mind must crawl out of at the rejection of me reality's version of you has decided upon is harder than it needed to be, because of my inability to let you, the you only for me, go.

Are you what could have been? No. You are what I wanted to believe was going to be, without the influences of reality's harshness.

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Party Later

Going to a Halloween Party today. I was told no one was dressing up. I will just have to dress 'normal' then.

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Spontaneity

It isn't everyday when I wake up and say to
myself “today I am going to purely enjoy myself, and let
happen whatever happens”. As a general rule, I make sure that
everything I do is structured, even when going into something
without a plan, I create one as I go along. It is in my
nature to have a plan ready for every situation I may come
across. As my father often likes to joke, ”Trust is good. Control
is better”. But somehow, throughout my life I have taken that
line as my philosophy. It goes right along with the one that
states "If you want something done right, do it yourself”. It
isn't that I don't think others can do a fantastic job, it has
just always been that I can ensure things will turn out the
way I want them to if I just simply do them the way I
want them to be done. However, I have learned as I
have gone through life, that one lone person cannot be in
charge of everything. That realization came with my first, and
only, panic attack, the stress overload that had me too sick to
do anything for nearly a week. It took an extreme to make me
mellow down some. (Some would still say not enough) It is okay
to entrust others with the work that needs doing, letting
them worry about their task at hand, and concentrating
on your own. The plan you create for yourself is, in the
end, really just for yourself. You can never expect others
to follow what you expect of them, simply because you believe
it is the best way for everyone. My hardest lesson
in life by far. As I have stated, I think through every
situation, looking at every twist life could possibly throw
my way, and I prepare my responses. If life were
Chess I'd be prepared enough to think that I knew
the next 200 possible moves. I am analytical. I prepare
myself for every disappointment, and every twist. But there are
days, like the ones I have lived through recently, where
things really just need to be taken as they come. Sure, you
can plan every little detail. But sometimes it is just more
fun to not know what will happen next, where you will find
yourself, or the things you gain from it. Example time. When
a family goes on vacation, plans what they do every day they
are gone, knows where they will be at approximately what times,
they are taking a trip. But when they go and find out as
they go along what they will do, without a clue as to where
they will be next, they are on an adventure. I am a person
all for having a plan (or two) for everything that I do, but
life has also taught me that there is a certain necessity for
spontaneity every once in a while. So try to go out, and let your
life lead you for a change.








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